Woke up early this morning, and by early I mean 3:00 am GMT +8:00, feeling the global warming. Darn, it was brownout again! I couldn’t blame NORECO (Negros Oriental Electric Cooperative, synonymous with brownout) because that’s what they’re good at.
But what the heck! They’re doing this over and over again, like in 2-hour intervals. No, I’m over-exaggerating — it’s just 1-hour interval of brownouts! The feeling of I-Know-What-Will-Happen-In-59-Minutes is always there every time the power is back. And that gut-feeling is seldom wrong.
The hotness earlier sent me into an epiphany: what if, because of the warmth due to brownouts, my skin gets burned, and I die? What if?! It’s not that I’m going to die soon or something, but what if?
But if I just died because of that lame fortuitous event, I am seriously going to hunt and haunt whoever ate the electrical wire. NORECO, that goes to you!
Back to my death: Well, I know the title says my last will and testament, but actually I don’t have any material things to bequeath, so as an alternative, here are the list of the things people should and shouldn’t do:
* No chanting of “prayers” on my wake as they may call it. Man, isn’t it annoying to hear those redundant phrases uttered by mouths who aren’t sincere enough to pray? I don’t know if there were horses, but those people’s mouths were running like they were on a horse race. If that happens to my wake, I would surely get up from the coffin and kindly ask them to be quiet because I am sleeping. Now, that would be fun!
* Drink coffee moderately. Well said.
* No gambling. Period. I said period. Why would anyone insist on gambling when the dead can’t join, eh?! A lame excuse: So they can remain awake. A good solution: Here, play my Guitar Hero, or watch a dirty movie.
* No crying. Please. (As I’m writing this part, I’m beginning to cry like a baby — with the very loud voice.) But the good part of not crying is no funny faces. Seriously. Have you seen your face cry so badly? I guess not, but try crying in front of the mirror like you lost your favorite tooth, and you’ll see what I mean.
Terms are subject to change without prior notice. By the way, I did mention about Guitar Hero, but actually I don’t have one, so you could just go with the dirty movie instead.
Darn, I totally forgot. You can’t watch any movie too because it would be brownout (expectedly). *sigh*
Yeah, Right! 